Here, for your birthday and as a monument to our friendship, I have hung up all the photographs I have taken of you this past year. Like…
The time you fell down a well.
The time you were being chased by a pig while we were camping.
The time you were being chased by a farmer for upsetting his prized pig.
The time you sneezed and a green, slimy string of boogie shot out towards the camera (remember we gave him the name ‘Slimer?’).
The time you tried to hop over a bench and your leg smashed through.
The time you got your foot stuck in the mud.
The time you got your other foot stuck in the mud when you tried to set yourself free the first time.
The time you fell face first into the mud when you tried to set yourself free the first two times.
The time you toasted with me at my wedding and the glass broke into pieces (you smelt like champagne throughout the whole reception – that should be your new perfume).
The time you rode your bike into the canal.
The time you tried to get out of said canal.
The time you got attacked by a pair of geese while still in the canal.
The time you bought an ice cream cone and a seagull swooped down and stole the ice cream, leaving you just the cone.
The time you threw that cone, aiming at the seagull, but somehow hitting the farmer from before right in the face.
All these times, I laughed at you. Yet you laughed with me after I put the camera away.
Friend, I look forward to the photos you have of me and what I get myself into.
I hope you enjoyed my short story. Feel free to leave me constructive feedback.
Thank you for reading!